Testimonials

Since I always felt out of place in my own skin and was very insecure, with a low self-esteem, I started getting involved with the wrong crowd: the pot-smokers and the “cool kids.” The drugs took the self-doubt and dirty feelings away. And actually, I even began to feel as if everything were better, So, I started trying more drugs in order to get higher. That way, I wouldn’t feel the emptiness inside.

On the outside, all seemed well: just a kid going through adolescence. But inside, I needed to escape from me and I found that in drugs. At 16, I found the love of my life, I thought. Since I was looking for love and acceptance and he told me he loved me, I just fell for his lies, which led me to becoming a single Mother. Now, I had an even more soiled reputation and a heart just filled with so much hurt.

My family tried to step in and help me, but it was as if I didn’t want help. I tried to be a responsible little Mother, but there was something inside me that would not take responsibility for my son or for myself. I remember the anger and hurt I felt, knowing that my son’s father had simply moved on and left me feeling “not good enough.”

After this, I really took a downhill nose dive. I got involved with drugs, men and the fast-lane lifestyle. I married a man who was extremely abusive. During that time, I was introduced to meth, cocaine, pills, and finally crack cocaine. I started going in and out of jails. My family thought I had lost my mind. They could not understand why I could not get a handle on my drug addiction and just leave it behind. I didn’t understand either, but I could not stop. Nor did I want to stop.

Basically I wanted to destroy myself. I felt I deserved the destruction. By now, I had left my son with my Mother and I felt so unworthy. So, I set out on a destructive path of many years: in and out of prisons, jails, rapes, beatings, and even prostitution. I would stay high in order not to feel the emptiness, the pain, the shame, and the guilt. I just wanted to self-destruct.

During one of the many times in jail, I remember crying out to God and asking Him to save me or take me. That night I had a dream that I was helping women like myself. I thought to myself, “How could I ever help someone else? Not me! God would not want me!”

Time passed. My son was growing up. My Mother died while I was locked up. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. My poor family finally gave up hope. It was at this time that I went through the most horrific experience of my life. I was brutally gang-raped and held for several hours. I overheard them talking about their plans to kill me. I remember having like an out-of-body experience. I knew the time for my life to be over had finally arrived. I saw my son, my family, even my Mother who was gone, and I began to cry out that I did not want to die this way. I wanted to be a Mother to my son. I did not want to leave this world without having accomplished anything. I wanted to live!

God heard my cry. I survived that night and managed to escape by appealing to the youngest of rapists, who helped me. After this, however, I didn’t immediately turn around. I did a few more years in and out of jail, only to get sent to Georgia, where I knew no one. At that time, a friend asked me to move in with them and get my life together. I got a job at Publix Deli and tried to be “normal.”

Somehow “normal” never fit into my vocabulary. I felt like an outsider. I felt like I wore my past on my forehead for all to see and judge. So, I started using again. I knew I was headed back down that road. I was so tired, so very, very tired. And…. that’s when it happened! A lady, named Julie Wilkins, walked up to the Publix Deli, where I was working, and we carried on small talk while I waited on her. A few days later, she came back to the store, leaned over the counter, and said “Honey,the Lord has placed you on my heart. Are you all right?

Immediately, I just fell into her arms. I wept like I have never wept before. I told her that I was not okay. I spilled my whole life’s story out to her. After that, she began calling me daily, encouraging me. She would hold me accountable. And she was always talking about this place called the Potter’s House.

One day, Julie took me to a group Bible study at the Potter’s House. I left there with a newsletter in my hand and something burning in my heart. Every day, for about two months, I would look at this newsletter and rub the faces of the girls, captivated by the peace they showed. I wanted what they had! I called Julie and told her I was ready to go to this place that had won my heart.

From the day I walked into the Potter’s House, I knew I had finally found what I had been searching for my whole life. I completely surrendered to the Lord Jesus Christ. He reached down, scooped me up, took my shame and pain, and washed me white as snow.

For the last two years, the Lord has been teaching me how to walk with Him daily. I never dreamed I could be set free and made whole. I am now serving God as the housemother and manager of the Potter’s House. It is an amazing thing to be a part of God and His glory and watch Him raise lost souls from the dead and give them life! I have never in my life been so fulfilled.

For you see, I have truly been

“SAVED BY THE KING!’

Teri was born, weighing only 2 pounds, 7 ounces. I begged God to let her live and promised to never ask Him for anything else. She did live and her daddy and I got married. We moved out on our own and the marriage started going downhill. He would stay gone all the time and I was always there alone with my small child. Again, I felt very empty, so I started back drinking, smoking pot, and hanging out with heavy metal band members….with a baby on my hip.

For the next couple of years, I drug Teri through many bad things. I had one bad relationship after the other. One was so bad I almost lost my life a few times. God was trying to get my attention, but I just ignored Him. I knew this man was not good for me and my daughter, but I thought he must really love me to be that jealous and possesive. Finally, he left me and went back to Ohio where he was from.

Shortly after this, I met the man I believed to be my soul-mate. I was 17 and head over heals in love for the first time. We had financial problems…but an even worse drug problem. After a few bad years in drugs, however, we actually made a good decision and quit the drugs. I became pregnant again, after going through a miscarriage, I had my second daughter, Alana. Shortly after she was born, Chris and I got back on drugs and ended up separating.

That’s when I went off the deep end. The devil had me so bound and in such darkness that I would drive around for hours lost when my destination was only 5 minutes away. I was so messed up that I even dropped Teri off at the wrong school one day. I didn’t even know it until way after the bus had run that afternoon. I was selling large quantities of drugs and doing even more. I would stay up for days on end and would sleep only when I fell out. I was pregnant at the time…had gotten pregnant before we separated…and did drugs the whole time. I ended up having the baby in the bathtub and losing her. I took more drugs to numb the pain of what I had done.

One day, I fell asleep at the wheel with Alana in the car and we had a head-on collision. I was pinned in the car with the gearshift through my jaw. I went in and out of consciousness, to awake in the hospital with Chris by my side. Three weeks later, I was released and Chris took me home with him. We went through many more troubles, courts, hospitals, DFACS, probation, and other things.

Soon we were expecting our 3rd daughter, Sydnie. We moved out of Newnan to LaGrange to start over. That’s when I found out I was pregnant again. This time it was a boy. We were so happy. We started going to church and both of us got saved and baptized. When it came time for the birth, I was put in the hospital for another C-section and was given Oxycontin. Before I knew it, I was going back and forth to many different doctors to get pain pills and Xanax.

That’s when we stopped going to church and began fighting almost every day. I used that as an excuse to be unfaithful, so he left me. I then became even wilder…working at strip clubs for money to pay bills I never paid. I was out of control. I was drinking more and more; living here and there; then I added meth to my life of desrtuction. I had many thoughts of suicide and acted on those thoughts a few times. I ended up battling with the law, getting put in jail, being often on probation…and alll that goes along with it.

Finally, I got close to the Lord in jail and knew I needed Him in my life. A lady that came to the jail told me about the Potter’s House and brought me. Since then, I have gotten truly saved and I have totally surrendered my life. Today, I have God’s Word to stand on for strength and I use it. For I know the plans that He has for me and they are for good and not harm. And knowing this has brought me from being “much afraid” to “grace and glory”. How good it feels to be hand-picked by the Lord to be a soldier in His army and to know that I am a blood-bought child of the Most High God. I want to be a Godly wife one day and be a Godly mother to my children. I never want to hurt my family again, but most of all, I never want to disappoint my Father.

During the time of my brief marriage, I was introduced to crank. I also began to mix uppers and downers. By the time I was 20, I was already separated from my husband and had moved back to my mother’s house…………….a whole lot more lost and defeated than ever. Through my desperation, I decided to go to church with a friend…….and got saved. However, I had no spiritual guidance and did not go in the right direction. I turned to self-help books, daily affirmations, and “earth and moon religions.”

For the next few years, I spent my time on an emotional roller coaster. My whole existence was based only on how I was “feeling.” That’s when I met and fell madly in love with my wonderful husband, Josh. We were married in 2005 and moved from Texas to Georgia. I came with so many dreams: buying our first home, starting a family, falling into place with my in-laws, having a successful job, etc. But, none of that ever happened! Like all the years before, I began to sabotage myself and set myself up for failure.

At this time, I fell into a very, very deep depression. I began to miss my best friends and my Mother and brother very badly. I had never been away from them in my 29 years of life…and it hurt. I began building up walls against my in-laws. I decided that I just didn’t fit in. And, more hurtful than all, I was trying to get pregnant……to no avail! I developed several female problems, which made me think my life was over. Satan began to beat me up daily. “If only I wasn’t raped…if only I hadn’t been so promiscuous. Why is God punishing me? Why does my husband have to suffer? I can’t even be a real woman and have a baby. If I wasn’t such a disgusting person, we would not be going through this. I ruin everything!”

Because of my extreme depression and pain, I cut everyone off. My doctors began prescribing pain medication, anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety meds. I took 4 narcotics every day. I was a walking zombie and began just living for my next high. I could not and would not function without pain and anxiety meds. I refused to spend time with our family and to socialize with anyone. All I wanted was those tiny white pills. My marriage began to suffer and my health deteriorated rapidly. I even began to lose my hair.

I cannot even begin to describe the darkness that permeated my life. Pills had so much control over me that I began to steal medication wherever I went. I broke into houses to get them and even stole two checks and forged the signature to try and cover our house payment that I had used on doctor visits and refills. I was arrested on forgery charges and given probation and a fine.

You would think that wold stop me, but it didn’t. I proceeded with my same lifestyle, even increasing the pills I was taking after a fallopian tube surgery. I was consuming at least 60 or more pills a day. It was a deadly concoction of somas, diladas, percoset and xanax.

Finally one day, I had “had” it! I was tired of hurting myself and my family. I put four extremely potent pain patches on, took all the pain killers and xanax I had, and drank two packs of coolers. I wanted out. My husband came home to find me unconscious and had me hospitalized. Five days later, I was back to it again. This went on until the final straw came! I had been drinking and taking pills and having a pity party. I got into my car to go get some more beer when I lost control, hit a median, and went flying through the air. The car immediately caught fire. God got me out of that car and within minutes it was engulfed in flames.

Without my knowledge, my mother-in-law had been praying for months for me with one of her co-workers, Mrs. Dot, who happened to attend Rock Springs. They got me into the Potter’s House. I rededicated my life to Christ in November, 2008. Everything that had been buried in filth in my heart has now been washed clean by the blood of Jesus. He is my everything. He is the first thing I think about in the morning and I spend my days seeking His presence. My relationship with my husband and family has been restored. Praise God I am whole and healthy spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. I am looking forward to living my life for the Lord!

My Mom got into a bad car wreck and had to have 3 back surgeries as a result. The Doctors put her on 80 mg. of oxycontin. She was in a daze day in and day out during my high school years. I got a c ar at 16 and started skipping school, smoking pot and hanging out with the wrong crowd. The first semester of my senior year, I skipped 72 days out of 78. I went back the next year for a semester and got my diploma.

The day after I graduated, I went to Scottish Rite Hospital and had two rods put in my back and had 11 vertebraes fused. It was a year recovery. During that year, I slipped into an addiction to pain pills that would soon have complete control over my every thought and every move. I couldn’t do anything without the pills. I thought my pain was so bad that I would just have to die taking pain pills. At first, it was just a few Vicodin a day; then it led to about 30 or 40 a day, plus xanax, alcohol, cocaine, and pot. I stayed high and drunk every day and every night for six years. I would wake up not knowing what happened the night before, not even the hour that had just passed by.

Besides the drugs, I was very promiscuous with different men. I was living in hell and satan had me wrapped tight in his arms. I didn’t know how to break loose. I started just accepting that I was an addict and a failure and that’s all I would ever be. I would think to myself “Is this all life has to offer? Where did I go wrong?” I had ruined my brother’s wedding and made a fool of myself.

In November of 2008, I got arrested for the first time for drunk and disorderly conduct and stayed three days in jail. At that time, I knew something had to give. I couldn’t go on one more day. I cried out to God and told Him I needed Him. I told Him if He could break these chains, I would serve him for the rest of my life.

After I got out of jail the day before Thanksgiving, my stepfather, Larry, who is a great Father and provider, called his brother, Scott, who is a Pastor. Scott knew about the Potter’s House. I came on December 2, 2008. God heard my cry and answered my prayers. It has been a learning, growing, trusting, letting go and loving experience. I am so thankful He doesn’t give up on us.

I have been writing this testimony and pouring out my life as tears are rolling down my face. I am looking out at the rain pouring down and the Lord has very sweetly shown me that I have broken His heart and He has cried as many tears over me as the raindrops that are falling. I love Him and do not ever want to hurt Him again. He is my Father, my Provider, and my Everything. I will serve Him till He wants to take me home.

As for my Mom, Dad, my brother and sisters and the rest of my family, I have found a new way of protection: prayer.

I didn’t think too much about it until my teenage years when I began interacting with other teens. I wanted so much to be a part of the “in” crowd. I just wanted to belong. So, I started doing what the “in” crowd would do……..drinking, smoking pot, and being sexually active. During this time, my mother told me in conversation that I was unwanted at first, because she and my dad could not afford me financially. She told me she had tried to manually abort me. So, in the back of my mind, I stored this information and allowed it to grow, not realizing that the enemy was at work, convincing me that I didn’t have a purpose here on earth. That only added to my mindset of trying to fit in and be a part of doing whatever it took to be accepted.

My drug use began to grow. In addition to pot, I started drinking a lot, which led to weight gain. This was just absolutely unacceptable in society. So, after trying meth after my daughter was born, I began losing weight. As I continued to use meth, I became addicted, which led to the break-up between my three-year old’s dad and myself.

Now, here I was…a single mom trying to function with a terrible addiction. Of course, this didn’t last long. It was time for my daughter, Hayley, to start school and because I couldn’t take care of her, I allowed her to live with her dad and grandmother. Now, I was convinced that I was an awful mom, inadequate and incapable. It was just another tactic of the enemy.

Several years passed. and I was in and out of abusive relationships. In 1999, I became involved with my son’s father, who was a crack cocaine addict. Soon, I started smoking crack cocaine with him and ended up pregnant. He then got abusive with me and I decided to leave him, only to find myself with absolutely nothing except a baby on the way. At this time, I met a woman who took me in and provided all my needs for my baby and myself.

Through all of this, I was in and out of jails, nowhere really to live exept with family members who would have me. I was just back and forth. It was a vicious cycle. Finally, DFACS got invovled and I lost all rights to my son. That was when I really went into that downward spiral, self medicating. First, my daughter…..now my son, who was never wanted by his father. The feelings that go through a Mother’s heart and mind facing all these consequences are just indescribable.

At this pint, I lost all hope. Nothing to live for……..just merely existing. Only God saw something that I did not. He saw resurrection of a life that I had given up on. Through prayer, I called out to Him, not realizing that He was even listening to an old worthless sinner like me. Praise God He did!

My Lord and Savior hand-picked me from the pits of hell and sat me down at the Potter’s House. He has totally reconstructed me inside and out. He took an old unwanted person and chose to shine His light through me, resulting in the salvation of several others. Now that’s the story of hope and restoration.

As for my children, Lil’ Man, my son, was blessed with an awesome foster mom. She is planning to adopt him and encourages our relationship. Today, Hayley, I believe is finally seeing a glimpse of hope in her mom for the first time in 16 years. I love my children very much and can’t wait for the day when we are all back together.

It started with smoking cigarettes and drinking every now and then. But it didn’t take any time for that to progress into marijuana and a lot of drinkin. I was about 14 years old when I started sneaking out of the house at night to meet guys so I could party with them. I was 15 when I had sex for the first time….it was just so they would like me, I thought. I ended up pregnant with my son, who is now 15. I thought I was so in love with his daddy, but he didn’t feel that way about me. Therefore, I ended up a single mom.

My mother stepped in to help as much as she could, but I wanted to do it on my own. So, I moved out and got a place of my own. That is where the downward spiral really took a nose dive. Being on my own gave me the chance to go a little further with my curiosity of the drug world. I began experimenting with cocaine, ecstasy, pills and lots of alcohol and marijuana. Then, I started selling it to support my habit. And, of course, everyone wanted to hang out with me then.

Well, I ran into an old friend that I had met several years ago in church and we started dating. He always gave in to what I wanted (usually money for drugs). So, my habit was a daily thing. I still sold drugs. He had no idea until the day the law got involved and I got busted! After that, I got sentenced to 12 years in prison. I served 5 of those years, leaving my 4 year old son with my mother. (Praise God for Mothers!)

In 2003, I got out of prison and really did good for about a year. However, it started again, but this time it was worse than ever. The cocaine and weed weren’t enough any more, so I moved on to smoking crack cocaine. In the meantime, I had married this wonderful man whom I met in church, who waited 5 years on me while I was in prison. The crack habit got really bad because my husband worked out of town a lot and I could pretty much do anything I wanted to do and he wouldn’t even know it.

During this time, I ended up pregnant again. I am very ashamed to say that I did continue using drugs while I was pregnant. But, by the grace of God, my beautiful daughter did not suffer because of my stupidity. She is very healthy. I did straighten up for a while after that and started working for my dad. I was clean for 8 months, but went out and got high again out of the clear blue. That very night, I was in an almost fatal car accident. A drunk driver hit me head on. I was told I would never walk again, but God had a better plan for me. I did learn to walk.

It seems that this horrible thing would have been enough for me, but after 6 months, I started using again. This went on for about a year until my Mother found out about the Potter’s House. I came here and found joy that I didn’t know was possible. I have a new life with Christ and now I can be a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband and a daughter to my mom.

I thank God every day for keeping His hands on me and for giving me another chance at life.

Thank you, God!